Thanks for visiting my online portfolio.

My name is Robert.

Sometimes I go by Ross, my middle name.

I’m a contract killer who slays his victims with words (and music).

In a good way, of course.

Stories that Sell and Jingles that Stick (a Short Bio)

Last year I published my first book—Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy.

It’s the book with a soundtrack! See—

 

 

As you might guess I’m a songwriter.

And recently, a jingle I wrote generated strong interest from an insurance company that shall remain nameless.

Hint—it rhymes with “regressive.”

Release date is TBD.

I’m also collaborating on a musical project with two social media influencers, one of whom is the brother of Kim Kardashian’s best friend (or something ridiculous like that).

Jingle below (special cameo at the end) —

 

Academic Editor, Copywriter, and Assassin

Since 2020 I’ve been a part-time grammatical firefighter, extinguishing “dumpster fire” essays for undergrads and graduate students.

As a copywriter, although I’ve helped thousands of businesses succeed online, including some major corporations and franchise owners, I never quite reached my potential due to mental health issues.

But I’m totally stable now, engaged in therapy, and eager to showcase my skills as a verbal and musical mercenary.

The Pitch

Okay, it isn’t really a pitch.

But I’d love it if you spent a few minutes browsing my portfolio and website to assess my work for yourself.

Thank you for your time and have a harmonious day.

Best wishes,

Robert Horton

 

*** Links Below ***

 

Portfolio (Desktop)

Portfolio (Mobile)

Love Songs and Suicide (Book Description and Sample)