R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

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The post AI appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post Untitled appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

LINKS

Lyric Sheet

The Security Sessions (my book’s soundtrack)

Love Songs and Suicide – Amazon Link

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post Songwriter Showcase appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post I’m a writer appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

~~~

I just wrote my first book.

Title: Love Songs and Suicide

Subtitle: A Travel Memoir,
Romance, and Tragic
Musical Comedy

Nobody’s read it so far.

That’s okay.

I haven’t promoted it at all, really.

But that’s about to change.

I just purchased a domain.

At lovesong (dot) blog, I’ll talk about overcoming tragedy and finding harmony in a chaotic world, exploring topics such as mental health, business, music, and travel.

It’s a self-improvement website (for screwed up people).

I’ve been adrift since I finished the book.

But through trial and error, I’ve discovered the cure for a creative hangover.

It isn’t….

Booze
Medication
Or therapy

Yeah, I tried all of those things.

They didn’t work. I’m still in therapy though (an overshare, perhaps).

The cure for a creative hangover is…

A new project.
Something that matters to you, ideally.
That’s it.

Wishing you “sobriety” in all your endeavors, creative and otherwise.

CTA – I have 35 connections as of now. And no one’s likely to see this post. But by some miracle you did. So if you’re not a serial killer, the MyPillow guy, or associated with the mayonnaise industry in any capacity (I believe mayonnaise should be illegal), feel free to connect with me.

P.S. I actually have more than 35 contacts now. I drafted this post a few months ago, but just now worked up the courage to post it. That’s a lousy P.S. Sorry Jasmin (shameless shout out). I’ve learned a lot from stalking your LinkedIn content despite never commenting on it. Thanks much. And even though I hate your “clear over clever” rule, it does make sense to me and to everyone on this paycheck Friday and that’s all for now.

#creativity #hangovers #mentalhealth

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post The cure for creative hangovers 🥃 💊 appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

Because I don’t know.

Most of the people who thrive on this platform, like Jasmin, Lara, and my new friend Loris, seem to relish connecting with others.

That’s not me.

It never will be.

But I’m not a sociopath or anti-social…

I’m just an extreme introvert.

And a “highly sensitive person.”

And a combination of an INTP and an INFP, per Myers-Briggs.

And I have…

Social anxiety
An avoidant personality
Plus a host of other neuroses

In other words…

I’m out of element.

Like a at a

As I wrote my debut memoir, Love Songs and Suicide, I spent a year and a half in isolation.

And I loved every minute of it.
The isolation was a gift.
Now I’m not sure how to proceed.

But I will say this…

Everyone I’ve interacted with on this platform has been super nice and encouraging.

And much of the content I’ve read on LinkedIn so far has been both educational and thought-provoking.

My short-term goal is modest: to build my network.

I have nothing to sell you.

And as I said, I have social anxiety, so I probably won’t ever DM you.

So, let’s connect!
It’s a risk-free proposition.

And if you have any advice for me (and others like me) on how to succeed on LinkedIn despite social anxiety, I’d love to hear from you.

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

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Words that were helpful to me.

And they might be helpful to you too.

“My mental health genes are so—” I told her. “I’ve been so unhappy for so long, and I just keep having this recurring thought that I’m doomed.”

Randomly, my therapist is a big basketball fan.

And at this point, she injected Kobe Bryant into the conversation.

Then our session timed out (because I do online therapy).

Afterwards, she sent me this lovely message:

“Dear Ross Horton,

It was great seeing you today.

When Kobe Bryant said that he always knew he would be the best basketball player in the world and that he never had a second option, he was so confident he was going to make it….and he did. I wonder what would happen if you believed in yourself, if you actually thought you would succeed, if you didn’t assume there were multiple other options…”

Wise words.

I’m not there yet.

Not even close.

But that simple message (“believe in yourself”) resonated with me on this day.

Maybe it will resonate with one other person reading this post (if anyone reads this post).

Even if we don’t believe in ourselves, we can still fake it, right?

No CTA.

Believe in yourself.

And even if you don’t, pretend you do.

That’s my message for you today.

For whatever it’s worth.

I’ll never “be like Mike” (that’s Michael Jordan, the best basketball player ever) or Kobe Bryant in my field of choice.

But that’s okay.

My goal as a content creator in this basketball analogy is simple:

I’d just like to be…

• A tall white dude on the bench
• Wearing a fly jumpsuit
• Despite my inability to jump

That’s a SMART goal for me (and for all of us, I think, regardless of our gender because again, this is an NBA analogy).

We shouldn’t aspire to be like Mike or Kobe. Rather, we should aim to be like a tall dude on the bench wearing a fly jumpsuit.

• Engaged
• Prepared
• And learning to fly without elite athleticism (or wings).

P.S. What’s your #1 SMART goal right now?

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

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He was “hypomanic on a mild day,” per historian Kay Redfield Jameson. 

Both his brother and son committed suicide. 

To manage his depression, Roosevelt sought “action.” 

And he sought it constantly. 

• He swam
• Rode horses 
• Hunted wild game
• Climbed mountains
• And practiced martial arts

In 1913, at the age of fifty-five, he embarked on his most perilous odyssey: a two-month canoe trip down the River of Duda (River of Doubt), an uncharted tributary of the Amazon. He almost died on that journey and lost nearly a quarter of his body weight. The Duda was eventually renamed in his honor. Today, it’s known as Roosevelt River.

As president, he participated in boxing matches at the White House. 

In those matches, he’d regularly challenge his competitors to hit him in the face as hard as they possibly could. 

He reportedly suffered multiple concussions.

So…

Roosevelt was insane.

But he led an extraordinary life. 

And he died of natural causes at the age of sixty, unlike his son, brother, and many others in his family who died by suicide.

Bipolar disorder was the Roosevelt “family curse.” But because Teddy stayed in motion — constant motion — he was able to channel his energy, quell his depressive tendencies, and become one of the most significant figures in American history.

I’m not advising anyone to pick fistfights or navigate uncharted river tributaries. Rather than seeking action of the extreme and insane variety like Roosevelt did throughout his life, we can simply aim to become a little more active.

At least, that’s what I’m aiming to do.

To get action, I can:

• Run
• Jump
• Swim
• Play
• Row
• And go
• On trips

Only people of a certain age will pick up on the references in the above list…

And I’m not in the advice-giving business. 

But if I were, I might say this to you:

Get out of your cushy office chair, couch, or whatever. 

At least for a little while. 

And get some ACTION. 

Today. 

Or, now is even better. 

Of course, you can leave a comment first (but only if you want to). 

What type of “action” are you presently seeking? 

Let’s keep it clean, folks. 

Below is the full quote from Teddy. 

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post Teddy Roosevelt’s Insane but Effective Cure for Depression appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

And I hate it.

My ADHD only makes the job more torturous. But timers (yeah, timers) have helped me maintain my focus at work and increase my productivity, even on days when I want to jump through my screen and scream at my students for their felonious assaults on the English language.

Honestly, I’d like to put some of them in jail.

But I can’t, nor can I magically make my ADHD symptoms disappear.

If you have ADHD or struggle with staying on task, you know how frustrating it can be to constantly get sidetracked by distractions.

That’s where the magic of timers comes in.

In this blog post, I’m going to share with you how I use timers to manage my ADHD and get things done, even when my brain is working against me.

This website is called Lovesong.blog, so naturally I’m a songwriter. And at the end of this post, I’ll also share a song with you, if you’re interested—a song I wrote with the aid of timers. First, let’s talk about length.

For How Long to Set the Timer – That is the Question

Choosing the duration of the timer is the biggest challenge, in my experience. Personally, I like to mix things up.

Here are a few time settings I like to incorporate into my routines.

Short Bursts (15 Minutes or Less)

When I’m really depressed (and I’m a head case with multiple disorders), I’ll set the timer for 15 minutes.

Then I’ll take a break.

And of course that break will be timed as well—roughly five minutes.

Then I’ll repeat the cycle until my misery is at a more manageable level.

This technique also works on days when I’m feeling scattered, irritable, or anxious.

Standard Bursts (25 to 30 minutes)

In the ADHD community, 25 minutes is perhaps the most commonly used timeframe for productivity bursts. This technique is known as the Pomodoro method, which originated in Italy.

Using this method, you work for 25 minutes and then take a 5 to 10-minute break. After four Pomodoro sessions, you take a longer break of 15-20 minutes.

I’ve never been a fan of this method.

For whatever reason, I prefer to work in very short or longer intervals. But this technique has worked for thousands upon thousands of distracted ADHD sufferers.

It could certainly work for you too.

As a variation of the method, you can work for 30 minutes instead of 25 minutes, then take a 10-minute break. That’s my psychiatrist’s preferred workday structure (and my psychiatrist has ADHD too).

Extended Sessions (One to Two Hours)

If I need to work a full eight-hour day—the thought of which repels me as I type—I’ll set the timers for longer periods. At my job I can space out occasionally and build breaks into my editing sessions.

So, I typically work in one to two-hour blocks, all regulated by timers, of course.

My break lengths vary but tend to be around 30 minutes.

Honestly, I’m not that big on setting break timers, but I think I probably should be a little more diligent about timing my breaks. More on that later.

Marathon Sessions (3-plus hours).

I wouldn’t suggest attempting to run a marathon (via timers) right away.

This approach is best reserved for when you have a lot of work that needs to be done and are feeling particularly focused.

But then again, if I’m feeling particularly focused, I usually don’t need a timer to keep me on task.

Honestly, I don’t run timer marathons very often.

You probably shouldn’t either.

That said, I do work for extended periods on occasion, especially if I fall behind on a project due to procrastination—a common problem for me, and I imagine since you’re here, you can relate.

Four Ways to Use Timers

1. Breaking up Tasks

Breaking up larger projects into smaller, more manageable tasks can make them feel less daunting. One effective way to do this is to set a timer for a specific amount of time, such as 15, 25, or 60 minutes, and work on the task during that time. 

Then you take a short break. 

For instance, if you’re overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning your entire apartment, you could break the job down by setting a timer for 15 minutes to focus on just one area, like the bathroom (I don’t know about you, but my bathroom resembles a crime scene on occasion). 

Once the timer rings, take a quick break to stretch or grab a drink (a strong one, perhaps) before tackling the next 15-minute clearing task. 

2. Structuring Your Day

In addition to breaking up larger tasks, timers can also be used to structure your entire day. This approach can be especially helpful for people with ADHD who struggle with time management.

For example, you could set a timer for 30 minutes to get ready in the morning. If you tend to get lost in the morning routine and run late (like me), a timer could be the solution to your problem.

3. Limiting Distractions

People with ADHD are often easily distracted, especially when they work on tasks that are not particularly stimulating. A timer can help you manage distractions, such as social media or phone calls, by allowing yourself a set amount of time to “waste” in your rabbit hole of choice, whether that be a video game, social media feed, or other activity.

4. Timing Transitions and Breaks

In my experience, transitions play a vital role in managing ADHD symptoms and optimizing productivity. It’s essential to allocate sufficient time between tasks. 

By consciously planning and allowing for transitional moments, you can create a structured rhythm that supports your focus, reduces stress, and enhances overall efficiency. Embracing the power of timing transitions and breaks empowers individuals with ADHD to navigate their day with greater ease and harness their full potential.

Timers and ADHD – Conclusion (Plus the Song I Promised Earlier)

While I may not have the power to magically eliminate my ADHD symptoms, timers have provided me with a sense of structure and control in a world that often feels chaotic. Chances are, timers can help you maintain your focus and increase your productivity too. 

It’s important to remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to using timers. Consider experimenting with different durations. For instance, if you’re feeling particularly depressed or scattered, setting a 15-minute timer could be immensely helpful. Alternatively, you might opt for 30-minute intervals with 10-minute breaks in between. 

I enjoy longer work sessions sometimes—up to two hours. You might find this approach works for you too. 

At the beginning of this post, I told you I’d share a song with you—a song I wrote with the aid of timers. That track is called “Cuttin’ the Backwoods,” and it’s an existential party song featured on my book’s soundtrack (yes, my book, Love Songs and Suicide, has a soundtrack). 

During the songwriting process, I worked in 12-minute intervals, writing non-stop during each session, followed by breaks of varying lengths. It took me well over 100 12-minute sessions to complete “Cuttin’ the Backwoods Down.” The end result is below. 

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post How I Tamed My ADHD with Timers – A Step-by-Step Guide appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.

I was a part of the majority group, struggling in silence with mental health issues, until the winter of 2023. 

That’s when I had a breakdown and sought help. 

And I’m glad I did. 

It was a process—an exploration of personalities, approaches, and compatibility. Along the way, I had to hire and fire several therapists before I discovered the one who not only spoke my language (sarcasm) but also made me feel comfortable in their presence.

In this article, I will provide you with a comprehensive guide on how to find a therapist that is right for you. 

The Eight Steps to Finding the Perfect Therapist

1. Reflect on your needs

 Before you schedule your first session, it’s a good idea to take some time to pause and reflect on what you’re looking for in a therapist.

Consider the specific issues or concerns you want to address.

Think about your goals, too. 

For me, it was essential to find a therapist who understood the complexities of my anxiety disorder and could provide guidance on how to manage it effectively. Since I’ve read hundreds of self-help and psychology books, I also knew I wanted to work with someone who was fairly experienced and not new to the field. 

I’m brooding and sarcastic by nature. 

Accordingly, I didn’t want to work with anyone who was overly cheerful or optimistic (and this desire would dramatically limit my options). 

2. Consider Online Therapy (the Pros and the Cons)

Online therapy offers unrivaled convenience, allowing you to attend sessions from the comfort of your own home. It also gives you access to a wider range of therapists with diverse specialties. Online therapy often provides patients with more flexible scheduling options as well. 

However, online therapy may not provide the same level of personal connection and engagement as in-person therapy. And establishing a therapeutic rapport with an online provider might be challenging for you. Ultimately, the decision between online therapy and in-person therapy depends on your individual needs and circumstances. 

3. Seek Recommendations for Trusted Sources

At the beginning of your therapeutic journey, consider reaching out to your trusted circle, such as family, friends, or even healthcare providers. Hearing about their experiences and recommendations can provide valuable insights and help you find a therapist who may be a good match for you.

I skipped this step initially and found my providers without assistance. But after firing my first psychiatrist, my weekly therapist (a clinical social worker) referred me to a new psychiatrist, Dr. Gillis. 

And she’s fantastic. 

I’ve also since fired the clinical social worker (that’s a long story that begins in my first therapy blog post). 

4. Check the Reviews

In today’s digital age, you have a wealth of information at your fingertips. Websites like Psychology Today, GoodTherapy, and Healthgrades offer comprehensive databases of mental health professionals. These platforms often include reviews and ratings from previous clients. 

When I was searching for a therapist, I relied on online directories and reviews to gather information. It was helpful to read about others’ experiences and get a sense of what to expect.

5. Evaluate Websites and Portfolios

Reviewing a therapist’s website or portfolio will provide you with valuable insights. You’ll learn about their qualifications, approach, and areas of expertise. 

If the therapist has a website, you’ll want to assess its overall style and functionality. A well-organized website demonstrates professionalism. On the other hand, a cluttered or outdated website might raise concerns about the therapist’s attention to detail or ability to communicate effectively.

As you evaluate content on a website or portfolio, pay attention to the tone and language used. Some therapists may adopt a formal tone. Others may use a more conversational approach. During your evaluation process, think about whether the therapist’s communication style aligns with your own communication style and goals. 

6. Check Their Qualifications 

Of course, you should assess the therapist’s background and areas of expertise. If you’re dealing with a complex mental health issue, such as bipolar or borderline personality disorder, you may want to try to find a therapist who lists your condition as one of their specialties. 

Additionally, consider their years of experience in the field. 

Although a therapist’s experience level doesn’t guarantee effectiveness or even competence, it may provide you with an idea of their exposure to various client populations and mental health concerns.

7. Consider the Costs

Therapy costs vary depending on many factors, including the location, the experience level of the therapist, and the type of therapy being offered. 

If you have health insurance, you’ll want to review your policy to understand what mental health services are covered and what your out-of-pocket expenses may be. To reduce costs, look for therapists who are in-network with your insurance provider. 

Some therapists offer sliding-scale fees based on income. Others may have discounts for multiple sessions available. Nonprofit organizations, community mental health centers, and university clinics often provide therapy at reduced rates or on a sliding-scale basis as well. 

8. Create a Short List, Then Make Some Phone Calls

After conducting thorough research, it’s time to create a shortlist of potential therapists. Narrow down your options based on the factors that matter most to you. 

If you’re seeking therapy locally, the next step will likely involve making some phone calls. Contact the therapists on your shortlist to gather more information about their practice and to determine if they are currently accepting new clients.

During these phone calls, you can ask specific questions to further assess your compatibility with the therapists. 

However, it’s important to note that many online therapists don’t provide their phone numbers. In such cases, communication is typically conducted through secure online platforms or video conferencing software. 

How to Find a Therapist – Closing Thoughts

On your journey to find the ideal therapist, it’s important to:

• Reflect on your needs and goals.
• Seek recommendations from people you trust. 
• And conduct thorough research. 

Exploring online resources, checking reviews, and evaluating websites and portfolios will help you gather information and assess the qualifications of prospective therapists. 

By following the steps outlined in this article, you can navigate the path to finding your therapeutic match with confidence.

R. Ross Horton II

R. Ross Horton is a writer, editor, and musician based in Palm Coast, FL. Last year he published his first book, Love Songs and Suicide: A Travel Memoir, Romance, and Tragic Musical Comedy. At Lovesong.blog, Ross strives to help people find harmony in a chaotic world. Visit this website’s about page to learn more.

lovesong.blog

The post Love at First Session – 8 Steps to Finding Your Ideal Therapist appeared first on Lovesong.Blog - Harmonize Your Life.